Wednesday, May 23, 2012
I don’t want your money honey.....
Tradition states that the parents of the bride pick up the bill for their little girls big day, but like everything else wedding, this has changed too. Some modern brides are choosing to pay for their own wedding so among other reasons, they get all the say. This sounds great in theory but it can also cause some ruffling of feathers within the family. Cue the over bearing, pushing mother/mother in law. Now I know not everyone’s mother or in laws are like this but let’s face it, we have all heard the stories of the mothers throwing tantrums because they can’t invite their best friend from bingo that you have never met or the judgemental comments over your choice in food and alcohol. But regardless of your decision, work it out early so there are not issues later on. This will also help you work out your budget. I can’t stress how important it is to have this worked out as early as possible.
Other people that you need to talk money with are your bridal party. Etiquette dictates that the bride and groom pay for everything they will need for the day but like everything else this is changing too. It’s more common these days for the bride and groom to split the costs with the bridal party. I suggest having this conversation before you start shopping. Work out what amount people are willing to pay and go from there. That way everyone knows where they stand up front and there will be not issues. There are real life stories all over wedding forums about brides who are pissed off with the bridesmaids or bridesmaids who are refusing to pay for a dress they don’t like! Apparently they didn’t have the talk....lol
I may get shot down for saying this but in my opinion if you do take money from parents then i think they should get a small say in a few things. I’m not saying give them full rein but a little give and take can go a long way to making your wedding a happy experience for everyone. It can be a very emotional experience for everyone especially your parents or guardians so keep that in mind. If you do decide to accept help from people make sure you are comfortable with it, you don’t need the extra stress or guilt.
So ladies whether you decide to go it alone or accept help from family remember what we always say here, enjoy the experience and do whatever you can to make it easy on yourself!
K & C